Have you ever had those moments, where you just sit back and say, "I. LOVE. My. Life." And you can't even imagine what more you could ask for, because you have everything you need?
I know I have. I know I've talked about one of the previous times on here during the summer. But that, comparatively speaking, was nothing compared to this weekend. It was still an amazing moment for me, but this weekend...has been incredible for me. That moment...was not just a moment. It's a moment that kept coming back. Like a stalker.
I'm not saying I've never been this blessed before, because I probably have. But, I don't think I've ever recognized being this blessed before.
September 2, 1994.
Seventeen years ago, I was born. Against all odds, I was born. Against everything Satan tried to do to prevent that birth--even years before I was even seen in the picture--against all of everything, I was born. Sometimes I still wonder why God went through all that trouble to make sure I was here. More often than not, it doesn't feel to me that it was worth all of that. Yet I have to admit in my heart, that it was because I am His child. Satan cannot thwart God's plan. Nothing and no one can. So, that's why I'm here. Because God said so.
So here I am, seventeen years after the deed was done, starting on my eighteenth year. I'm growing up. And I've never been truly alone a single step of the way. There are times throughout these years I've felt alone. Feelings such as that were lies. Deceptive and false. You know what though? There have been other times, when I've felt as if it would be impossible to be more loved. This weekend has been one of those times.
Friday.
- My friend stayed up until midnight so they could call me to tell me I was beautiful and be the first person to wish me a happy birthday.
- Three of my friends diligently awakened around 4:00 am to come heart attack the car I drive to school with sweet and silly but hilarious little messages.
- My A Capella class sang to me. Awkward, but funny.
- Four of my friends went out to lunch with me, one of which insisted on paying for me.
- Same said friend also purchased a loaf of bread I wanted--never got to eat it, but that's okay:)
- A "17 things I love about you" post.
- One of my friends ventured up to my house from across town just to deliver a present. They didn't even stay to actually SAY happy birthday until I made them. :)
- Drew with sidewalk chalk.
- My sister in the MTC managed to get the letter she wrote me to arrive the day of my birthday.
- After three of my good friends had joined me, we all piled into the car to pick up another very good friend.
- Birthday Balloon tied to the back of the car.
- All five of us decided dinner at the Pizza Factory was a good idea. (Again, I was not allowed to pay.)
- She's the Man. Need I say more?
- Massages.
- Another friend joined us around 9:45 pm.
- All of us went to get fried ice cream.
- Same friend that called me at midnight texted me rather late to wish me Happy Birthday again in hopes of being the last person to wish happiness upon my day.
- 12 straight hours with one of my best friends.
- Several hours with some of my other best friends.
- My mom allowing me to do things I never get to (drive around all my friends, stay out till midnight, do basically whatever I want..)
- So much love poured on me. Calls, comments, smiles...everything.
I can't believe I get to call these people my friends. I really can't. I'm so lucky. Thank you all for making my life wonderful. I had someone randomly text me that day and say "It's easy to be sad but fun to be happy." Well, yeah. You know, it's really quite true. It's easy to focus on all those negative, sad, unhappy, frustrating things of life. "Positives come and go, negative accumulate." Which is why it's so much harder to hold on to that positive perspective.
People talk all the time about how worldly things, money, etc, don't bring happiness. Problem is I think we let ourselves allow those thoughts to sneak their way into our lives anyway. Or at least I do. My thoughts convince me that if I only...looked prettier, dressed better, was smarter, more talented, this, that, and the other...if only, if only, if only then it would lead to the chain reaction of happiness. Here's the kicker, the chain reaction is always postponed by a new material, shallow piece of the whatever the world says. And since the world changes its mind every day, it becomes impossible for the chain reaction to ever end in happiness.
I realized...that this has been pretty much the best birthday I've ever really had. Ya know what? I didn't have a big party. I didn't get a ton of presents. Sure I got a few--but they weren't hugely expensive stuff. They were things with meaning. What made it such an amazing birthday was who I was privileged to spend my time with. Just being with them was enough for me.
Thank you all for being such amazing friends.
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