Saturday, December 31, 2011

Woah now.

And then, sometimes, my jealous side tries to make itself known. 
Don't you worry Little Jealous Side, I know you exist. 
You got my attention. 
I'm just attempting to ignore you so you'll stop! 

Even though you brought my jealous side to the surface, it was good to see you. 
I've missed you. 

Just don't let me do anything stupid, k?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

No Way Out

Everywhere I turn I hurt someone.
But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done.
Of all the things I hid from you...I cannot hide the shame.
(And I pray someone, something will come to take away the pain.)

There's no way out of this dark place. 
No hope.
No future.
I know I can't be free.
But I can't see another way;
I can't face another day.

Tell me where did I go wrong?
Everyone I love...they're all gone

I'd do everything so differently, but I can't turn back the time.
There's not shelter from the storm inside of me.

I can't believe the words I hear.
*It's like an answer to a prayer.*
(When I look around I see this place, this time, this friend of mine.)

You know its hard, but you found somehow to look into your heart and forgive me now.
You've given me the strength to see just where my journey ends.
You've given me the strength to carry on.

I see the path from this dark place,
I see my future.
Your forgiveness has set me free.
And I can't see another way I can face another day.

So many...feelings.

Considering I refuse to even write them down for myself...and barely willing to utter them to the One who already knows...good luck getting them out on a blog post. 
But, I'm all for sharing music. (Contrary to what you might assume, they are all unrelated. And if they did happen to be related--it's probably not in the way you might think.)

The slightest words you said have all gone to my head, I heart angels sing in your voice. 
Do you even know how you make me weak?
I'm a lightweight...better be careful what you say. You're in control of my heart.
I'm a lightweight, easy to fall, easy to break. 
Keep me from falling apart.

Make a promise, please, you'll always be in reach.
(This is all so new, seems too good to be true. )
Could this really be a safe place to fall?
Keep from falling down; Drowned in your love. It's almost all too much...handle with care. Say you'll be there. 

It's probably the best for you. I only want what's best for you...and if I'm not the best, then you're stuck.
I tried to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind--like you're pouring salt in my cuts.
Even though I know what's wrong, how could I be so sure if you never say what you feel.
I guess you needed more time to heal...
Please don't get my hopes up, tell me how could you be so cruel? It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts.
I just ran out of band-aids. I don't even know where to start, 'cause you can't bandage the never really can fix a heart. 
"Ignorance is bliss"...but sometimes you can't deny...
It's a crime against the heart you know, to be somewhere in between.
I might just have to confess where I stand.
Lately you make me weaker in the knees.
They say you got a hold on me, and I won't disagree. 

Lessons learned, bridges burned to the ground and it's too late now to put out the fire. 
Tables turned and I'm the one who's burning now.
Well I'm doin' alright 'till I close my eyes--then I see your face.
Time can heal, but the scars only hide the way you feel.
Everything I said, I regret it.
I was doin' alright, thought I could make it, then I see your face and it's hard to fake it.
If you could find a way to forgive everything I know you would. 
Down on my knees...I thought I was stronger. 

There's nothing I could say to you...nothing I could ever do to make you see what you mean to me.
All the pain, the tears I cried, still you never said goodbye. Now I know how far you'd go.
I know I let you down...
I will be all that you want, and get myself together.
You keep me from falling apart.
Now I can breathe, 'cause you're here with me.
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave.
You're all I got, you're all I want.
Without you, I don't know what I'd do.
I could never ever live a day without you.

I fell down.
I'm freakin' out. Where am I now? Upside down, and I can't stop it now. 
I...I'll get by. I...I'll survive. When the world's crashin' down, when I fall and hit the ground, I will turn myself around--don't you try to stop me.
I'll play the game, but I can't stay.
I've got my head on straight, and I'm not gonna change.
I'll win the race, keep up with the pace.
Today is the day that I start to pray--you can't get in my way. No. 
I'll get by. 
I'll survive. 
I won't cry. 
I found myself in wonderland...get back on my feet again. 
Is this real? Is this pretend? 
I'll take a stand until the end. 
I'll get by.  
I'll survive.
I won't cry. 

Have that. 

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Have That.

"May forget the church is for the perfecting of the saint--not a well provisioned rest home for the already perfected."

"Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears."

1. Know who you are.
2. Expect the Respect.
3. Accept the Respect.

The worst possible thing could potentially be the best blessing of all.

If you truly believe you're exceptional, you'll act exceptional.

"Treat a man as he is and you make him worse; treat a man as he should be and you make him as he could be."

Your heart changes when you forgive yourself. When you're forgiven but begin to beat yourself up--stop, and then thank Satan for reminding you you're not that person anymore. 

"When you save a girl, you save a generation."

The distance between you and your Heavenly Father is the distance between your knees an the floor."

"Just because the Lord is smiling upon someone else does not mean he is frowning upon you."

"No amount of time in front of the mirror will make you as attractive as having the spirit with you."

We need friends that make it easier to live the gospel. 

Sunday, December 11, 2011 get something you've said you wanted for months.
And hurts just a little bit. 
And you know what? 
Sometimes you don't want to admit it. 
So you don't. 
You pretend you're really happy about it. 
(And then you're sister points out that she knows it hurts. Just a little.)

But you move on.
Because it's selfish to be hurt over it. 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

101% Sure

Remember when...
You didn't go to my school?
When we tried to catch up our entire lives every Sunday?
It took hours on end?
My mother would get mad that I was never home until at least 6 pm on Sundays and 9 pm on Wednesdays?
Our lives went different ways?
God pulled us back to each other...over and over and over again?
Satan did everything in his power to convince us it wasn't worth it?

Remember when...
Satan still tried to push us apart?
God fixed all our problems?
You transferred to my school?
I saw you everyday?
You made sure I wasn't alone?
You reminded me who I was?
You weren't afraid to me when I was wrong?

Because now, I can't remember when...
you didn't know more about my life than I do.
I didn't turn to you for everything.
tell you news within 24 hours of the event.
you weren't my #1 support system.

I know the time existed...
but, now, I can't fathom the thought of what it was like--
it's hard to believe the time ever did exist.....
All of it adds up,
and makes me 101% sure
you didn't transfer for you. 
You transferred, and you're here now because I needed you. 
I don't know what I'd do without you
or where I'd be.
Because now I can't remember what it was like before you were my best friend. 

Monday, December 5, 2011


Have you ever had one of those days where you're ridiculously happy...and you don't know why?
I have. 
Except..I do know why. 
Well, kind of.
Part of me think I should hate the world 'cause I have so much I could complain about. 
But doesn't everyone?
And honestly, do I really even have anything to complain about?
No. I don't. 
Life is life is life.
Take it a it comes and be grateful you get it at all. 
Everything is going to work out. 
There's something inside me that knows it. 
Something I can't deny. 
So as much as I'm worried about it...I'm really not. 
And I'm happy. 
Just because I can be. 
I wish...I wish other people would be, too.