But for two seconds, I need to vent feelings. Or just...feeling.
Mostly I'm just sick of guys being my friend and caring about me because they "like" me. It's incredibly annoying. Which is an understatement if there ever was one. It hurts. Because here's what happens--they come into my life, become my friend and I begin to care about them. They care about me for the above reason, and then when they get over their little crush or whatever you'd call it, they stop. It's that fast for them. And I'm stuck missing someone I began to get attached to and genuinely care for. I care about my friends. A lot. Maybe I'm not always good at showing it, but it's true and it's there and it's real. So, if you're going to make me care about you, at least don't give me any delusions about if you care in return. It's fine if you don't. But, don't make me think that you do and then rip it away. I'll tolerate it. It's happened. So I deal with it. I don't know how many other people will, though.
On the other hand, thank you to those phenomenal people who are the best friends anyone could ask for. I have amazing support in my life and I don't want to let it go...
I honestly am having such a hard time grasping reality. I don't want these people, people who have been nothing but good to me and helped me with--life. I don't want them to leave. And they are...and I'm scared all the talk of staying in touch will all be just talk. We have it so easy; all the technology you could ask for. Yet, it's just like the gospel...sometimes it's so easy, that it's just as easy not to do it. It's just as easy to forget. To get caught up in life. Time will tell. Life will continue. Hopefully I just don't have to let go quite yet.
"If you love something, let it go; if it comes back to you, it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be."