Curious.

"Life is awesome. I don't understand it in the least. In fact...life has recently decided to put my life in a blender just to shake things up and make it more interesting. All I know is the end result ends up teaching me life is really made out of fruit and it just wanted to make smoothie. That's why all those things got so mixed up. And after being patient, you get to taste of the magically delicious life smoothie."

                                                                                                                     

...I'm so weird.

Sometimes I re-read past thins I have said and I just get concerned. Oooh my. 

I suppose the point of that was just to make sure no one forgets that in reality--life is made out of fruit. 

                          

Genius.

Sometimes my mother is quiiite the genuis. 
(okay, that's a lie, she always is.)
Have you ever had anyone say somethings that was so ridiculously obvious you just wanted to plant your face in your palms, pull away, and repeat? Yeah. That happened. 

"All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss."

*there are plenty more lyrics in there that I relate to way too much, but this is the one that just...hits something.* 

Well, the funny thing about mothers is they know everything (sometimes). ;) 
But really. 
As I talked to my mom about it, she made something clear to me without realizing it. We all know (or should know) that I'm dramatic to the max. And my  mom told me that I needed to stop approaching everything that way. Instead of approaching everything so solemn and seriously, be upbeat. It's not an "I don't care" or an "I'm immature" attitude. It's an "I have accepted things as they are and now all I can do is make the best out this situation. I hope you'll join me" attitude. Don't bring people down. Lift people up. That's how you be something to miss. No one misses drama. 
And you know what? Sometimes things still won't turn out. There comes a time to accept that. Things simply won't always turn out the way you want it to. It'd be nice--but not really. Where would the growth be? 

Careful who you point your finger at...

"My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances--they all become disabilities when I do not trust them in God's care." 

Coincidence? I think not.

The Lord's resources are endless. 


Facebook:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real


There is hope until you give up.


A friend's blog:
"We all need that security that some one will be there, especially when times are the roughest. Especially when you realize that there are some things you really can't run away from, no matter how far or hard you run. Or when you realize that not caring wouldn't solve any of your problems either."


There have been other things, it's just that those occurred all within 2 minutes of each other. 
Yeah, the Lord might be trying to tell me something; just don't even worry about it. 

Not that bad.

Sometimes awful days in which I find myself playing terrifyingly close to the edge of a jagged cliffs where one wrong step will pull me over and summon all the earth to suck me towards the sharp sides and distant ground which desires to slap me harder than necessary...sometimes those days make me ditch everyone. Instead of dealing with the pressing people pushing me in all directions without a care, I leave. Why should I stick around? Screw that plan. Too many things everywhere make me want to simply stop trying so hard to stand. Yet I somehow make it to the car. Home? No. So, where? I don't care. Up. Up so I can see the world. Stare at the beauty. Be alone with my God. Being alone never felt so good, because I'm not alone. I'm with the only one anywhere I want to be with. 
Priorities come too quickly. The time reminds me of my obligations. Stick it out, it's only an hour and half. You had better believe I was out of formation and getting my shoes on the second the signal was given we were free to leave. But then my coach had to come over and be the caring guy he is which makes it extremely difficult to force my tears to stay hidden. 


Finally I was free. 


And somehow I ended up with the one person who has no idea what was going on--and didn't have to. Either way they would cheer me up and make me forget about everything. That's exactly what they did. It took hardly any time at all before I was smiling again. After that I was laughing easy and before I wanted it to, my home summoned me back.
But at least it was raining as I left. That always makes life better. 
Have you ever just felt so comfortable in a place you never imagined would be a haven to you? 
I have. 

Enjoy that. Because it's freakin' sweet. 

This is definitely the music I was entertained with today. 

All I'm going to say (besides the fact that I love the music--a whole bunch) is that I find the name highly ironic and appropriate to my day. I think I might post more links to that music though, because I'm a big fan. 

Everywhere [You] Go

Sometimes you realize you've been asking the wrong questions. 
Sometimes you thought you were supposed to ask for a different kind of help.
Sometimes what you were really supposed to do, was ask for understanding. 
Sometimes the second you stop getting upset that things didn't go the way you thought you wanted, and admit you just don't understand...and you really want to...
Well, sometimes that provides the opportunity the Lord had been waiting for.
So, sometimes the Lord starts his teaching. Scripture by scripture, feeling by feeling, moment by moment. Long talks, memories, prophets, friends, more scriptures, songs...everything to help you gain that proper perspective. Everything and more that He knows will reach you and touch you. Everything He knows you will listen to and remember. Everything you need.  

We are as the Army of Helaman,

We have been taught in our youth.

And, we will be the Lord's missionaries to bring the world His truth, 

As Children of God. 

Beautiful Disaster

Hates the sound of goodbyes made.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference between the lie and compliments. It's all the same if everybody leaves her. 

Tries to act so nonchalant...

Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction.

She never stays the same for long,

(Assuming that she'll get it wrong.)

Perfect only in her imperfections. 

She's not a drama queen...she doesn't want to feel this way. 

Only 17, but tired.

She would change everything for happy ever after. 

She just needs someone to take her home.

She's just the way she is. No one's told her that's okay.  

Double One

2011

Typical New Years post? 

Sure, I guess so. 

I distinctly remember at the beginning of the year when I kept getting hit by the same thought over and over...

"This year is going to be amazing. Hard? Undoubtedly. But amazing? Absolutely." 

Now that I can look back in retrospect... holy heavens. 

That year went by so fast. It's scary to me. Yet I sit here now, and think of where I was a year ago, and it almost makes me shudder. As hard as life seems to be now, I would never want to go back to where I was. I'm in a much better place now. That's really what life is about though. Growing. I had to do a lot of that this year. A lot. 

Truthfully? I'm so glad 2011 is over. 

As much as I don't want to grow up...I'm ready to be rid of that year. 

Don't get me wrong--I had a LOT of good good times. Fo sho. 

SO many good things came out of that year. 

But, for this year, I'm kind of wishing for you the same things I'm wishing for myself. 

To bring the change you need, 

with enough consistency to keep you sane.

Enough challenges to continue your growth,

And, enough opposition to help you appreciate what true happiness is. 

 

I didn't realize how ready I was for 2012, until it was 

12:00 am, January 1, 2012.