Saturday, September 7, 2013

This is How I Feel.

Excuse the language...but these are essentially my feelings. So that's fine.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pathetic Complaints

I have some issues. And I know they're completely ridiculous. But I need them out of my system.

There's this thing called 2nd place. My brother calls it the first loser. I agree with him.

Can I just say...I'm so sick...of coming in 2nd.
It's my place though, apparently. I can't seem to shake it off. But.. that's okay. Because it doesn't matter.
Except, I'm a believer in accepting your feelings and then letting them go. So for five seconds, I'm going to admit once again how much it kills me to feel like I'm ALWAYS one step behind the rest; just barely off the mark...not quite there yet. It makes me sick inside to hear how close I was--but I didn't make it. Better luck next, let me pat you on the back. "A"for effort. I don't want that. I want success. I want to know what real success feels like. And I fear I never will. I'll never make it. I want it so much I could start crying right now. But I won't. I'm stronger than that. I'm only stronger than that because I know my feelings aren't true. They're misconceptions and I am as good as I need to be. There's no real placements in the world. I'm enough. I will always be enough. I just need to stop comparing myself to other people.

"God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: He is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others--usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Now, for you musical education...have some Daughter.