tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66139821246151749762024-03-13T16:47:36.141-07:00A Dance with RayneRaynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-59315497759837192022015-11-01T19:02:00.003-08:002015-11-01T19:02:51.801-08:00Faith in His Timing"Faith in God includes faith in His timing."<div>
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On the 22nd of this beautiful November, Matt and I will have been married for 1 whole year. </div>
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I can't believe how much has happened since then. </div>
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I have so many stories to share from this past year and I wish I had been more on top of recording them, but for now, this is about our most recent miracles. </div>
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We moved to Texas this past April and it was supposed to be a temporary stop before continuing our move to Virginia. However, that didn't happen and we decided to stay here. Problem: we only had summer employment. So, after the summer slipped away, we were hunting for solid jobs that would keep us here in the apartment community we already lived in and in Texas in general. </div>
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That is a feat much easier dreamed than done. </div>
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While we wanted to change career formats; Matt has always been great at sales, but he wanted management experience. Unfortunately, we kept getting turned away from training programs for that. We found a phenomenal job in sales though and he was actually excited about the opportunity. Everything seemed perfect about it (other than management training). The interview process was going amazing and everyone loved him and it seemed like a done deal. At this point, we were ready and EXCITED to accept a job offer. </div>
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...But they wouldn't ever finish their own interview process. There were "a few" people they still needed to interview and that was a month ago. {They STILL haven't interviewed those same people.} </div>
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Of course, we started to get stressed. So, just to cover our bases, Matt started applying for other jobs. To make a long story short, a job we weren't even considering turned out to be a better option than we had ever imagined. We found this job after almost a month of waiting to hear back from the sales job. At this point, Matt applied, interviewed, had a second interview, and was extended a {PHENOMENAL} job offer! </div>
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I was so insistent for so long that we NEEDED that other job and we got so frustrated we weren't employed yet. How shortsighted!! We had no idea what was in store and it was far better than we even thought to ask for. </div>
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I cannot express how grateful I am that God is watching out for us. That God knows what we need and how to help us get there. I was so frustrated with the first company for taking so long to give us an offer, I didn't realize it was God's way of keeping us occupied until we could find the path out there that was right for us. </div>
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We had job offers along the way--we almost took a job in Missouri, just to have a job!--it was tempting to take them! Taking that leap of faith was scary. I can't tell you how much I wanted to just grab on to anything during my panic moments. Waiting though...It paid off! </div>
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Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-43389239700034917332014-06-17T04:48:00.001-07:002014-06-17T04:48:41.080-07:00An FHE in China<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Only one who has <span style="color: #cc0000;">fought </span>against these <span style="color: #0b5394;">ominous waves is justified in telling us--as well as the sea--to "<i>be still</i>." </span>Only one who has taken the<span style="color: #cc0000;"> full brunt </span>of such <span style="color: #cc0000;">adversity </span>could ever be justified in telling us in such times to <span style="color: orange;">"<b>be of good cheer</b>.</span>" Such council is not a <span style="color: yellow; font-size: large;">jaunty pep talk</span> about<i><span style="color: orange;"> positive thinking</span></i> though positive thinking is much needed in the world. No, Christ knows better than all others that <span style="color: lime;">the trails of life can be very deep </span>and <span style="color: lime;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">we are not shallow people if we struggle in them</span></b>.</span> But even as the Lord avoids sugary rhetoric,<i> <span style="color: #999999;">he rebukes faithlessness</span></i><span style="color: #999999;"> and </span><b><span style="color: #999999;">he deplores pessimism.</span> </b><span style="color: #a64d79;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">He expects us to believe.</span>"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">--Jeffery R. Holland</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Faith can move mountains</b>...</span><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: x-large;"><i>but don't be <b>surprised</b> if God hands you a shovel. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;"><i>--Jeffery R. Holland</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yeah, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; <b><span style="color: #990000;">therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God,</span></b> for in <b><span style="color: #990000;">his </span></b>strength I can do all things; yeah behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land for which we will praise his name forever...Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; <span style="color: orange;">yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. </span>Behold, <i><b><span style="color: lime;">who can glory too much in the Lord?</span> </b></i>Yea, who can say <i>too much </i>of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you,<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i> <span style="color: lime;">I cannot say the <b>smallest </b>part which I feel.</span></i></span> Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our <b><span style="color: #999999;">awful</span></b>, <i><span style="color: #666666;">sinful</span></i>, and <span style="color: #444444;"><b><i>polluted</i></b> </span>state?...yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. <b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: x-large;">Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast</span></b>; <i><u><span style="color: yellow;">for this is my life</span></u></i> and my light , my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">--Alma 26: 12, 16-17, 35-36</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Well, these quotes, though separate, are all connected for me. It only makes sense to me, that my loving Father in Heaven, would expect me believe. He would expect me to believe, and seize that shovel to move my mountains. And in doing so, find joy in the work, because I'm on the path He wants me to be on. The path of happiness. The path where I will struggle until my brains fry out but be so much stronger because of it. The path where I can smile through the pain because I know there is always hope for me and for the future. For the people I love and for all those I don't even know. There is hope for us all. Because Christ has saved us from our "awful, sinful, polluted state." Which is a beautiful thing. He has it all under control. And that is why I want to praise Him. That is why I could never say too much of how wonderful my God and Savior are. There aren't enough words in any language to properly convey the miraculous nature and phenomenality of this truth. Even when I make up words like phenomenality it's not enough. It's never enough. He has done too much and I am grateful. I have been reduced to tears of pure gratitude because of his merciful hand. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">So if we cannot say even the smallest part of what we feel toward Him--if we cannot speak too much of His glory--why waste our breath on those words with unkind nature. The words expressed without love, in vengeance, anger, or jealousy. The words that uplift no one and hinder all involved. Would we not be better off to abandon those conversations for ones that would make our Father up above proud of us? </span></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-38914643794956963302014-03-11T22:02:00.000-07:002014-03-11T22:02:43.061-07:00He Was a Boy, She was a GirlCan I make it any more obvious? <------ True words from my girl, Avril.<br />
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Once upon a time I ended up going to college at BYU. And pretty much, you can fill in the story from there. :)<br />
Just kidding, you totally can't. Ha!<br />
But here some photos that are just...just great. :)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJOTRB5F_vvtyKOMVytC5G2BStOfkCMcvxRb45C31Trv7TytklIqDVR_wTxqVOE03AduNT6VpIs-qeE0j6YZaKjTosZFqXB1XLqa0rxzyFQ3ZX9YbkWdLbfc5lugTrLRktPYNlmFXeZM4M/s1600/photo3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJOTRB5F_vvtyKOMVytC5G2BStOfkCMcvxRb45C31Trv7TytklIqDVR_wTxqVOE03AduNT6VpIs-qeE0j6YZaKjTosZFqXB1XLqa0rxzyFQ3ZX9YbkWdLbfc5lugTrLRktPYNlmFXeZM4M/s1600/photo3.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMqgnxwXkIRCyx3FsX6jbqiMOYzeTsXdh4jJp9G4dWdS2Odphprz-TPplNsPCJ8wYAbVn3mgDWIzszELtOT0IwBLJaOZPOaX3CPlR21YnaYMcEukA497I6U2jL-J1RLvCq3jeX0-m2ypxc/s1600/photo7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMqgnxwXkIRCyx3FsX6jbqiMOYzeTsXdh4jJp9G4dWdS2Odphprz-TPplNsPCJ8wYAbVn3mgDWIzszELtOT0IwBLJaOZPOaX3CPlR21YnaYMcEukA497I6U2jL-J1RLvCq3jeX0-m2ypxc/s1600/photo7.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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These are definitely not my most attractive photos, but even I can't deny how happy I am in them. </div>
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His smile is my favorite thing.</div>
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JUST LOOK AT IT.</div>
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He's just so attractive. Goodness. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOriPDL2zZxlumAEl6pkp-lA_5gwAL_IoTYJLegEQFN2IbZQzYlFSTnztz8TOYNwcfQJcZCtnv6DEKFThIBkVGvabR6FIH3xWx-G6Ad3Sx6e0zjFS7vYVx9cuOrx8W3fr6dW7YyBpV-Hh/s1600/photo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOriPDL2zZxlumAEl6pkp-lA_5gwAL_IoTYJLegEQFN2IbZQzYlFSTnztz8TOYNwcfQJcZCtnv6DEKFThIBkVGvabR6FIH3xWx-G6Ad3Sx6e0zjFS7vYVx9cuOrx8W3fr6dW7YyBpV-Hh/s1600/photo1.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Those are my feelings. So have that.</div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-30655798392749845922014-03-08T07:02:00.002-08:002014-03-08T07:02:44.273-08:00Cry<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">Tell me what's wrong,</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> Tell me why you're </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">broken</span><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">Come here for a moment, </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> I'll wrap you up in my arms.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">So talk. I'll only listen. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">And should you lose control of that lump in your throat...</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Just go on and cry. </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"> Let it all out. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> Hold on to me tight,</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">Surrender your pride,</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> Go on and cry. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">Pain, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">the hurt is taking over...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">So bring on those teardrops, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">And I'll be the shoulder. </span></div>
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<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">Strength comes only after the storm's gone,</span><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: x-large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: x-large;">There's no use in hiding the thunder and lightning.</span></div>
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> Oh, go on and cry. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"><b>Let it all out. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"> Hold on to me tight,</span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"> Surrender your pride. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"><b>It's funny how you realize after it's over the one thing you needed was to lose your composure...</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"><i>hold on real tight, go on and cry. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666;">Sometimes you just need to cry. And sometimes, you just need someone to let you.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">There are times when I don't want advice.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">I don't always want to talk about it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">I don't even want someone to tell me it's all going to be okay.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">I just need someone to hold me while I cry.</span></div>
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<br />Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-46248449661900218312014-03-05T04:37:00.001-08:002014-03-08T07:08:01.041-08:00Jacks are Wild<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">Let the bough break, let it come down crashing.</span><br />
<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">Let the sun fade out to a dark sky.</span><br />
<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">Can't say I'd even notice it was absent,</span><br />
<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">'Cause<b><i> I could live by the light in your eyes</i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unfold before you what I've strung together:</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">the very <span style="font-size: large;">first </span>words of a<i> <b>lifelong</b></i><b> love letter</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tell the world that we finally got it all right. I choose you. </span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will become yours and you will become mine</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I choose...you.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">I choose you. </span><br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There was a time when I would have believed them if they told me you could not come true-<i>just loves <b>illusion</b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then you found me and everything changed</span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I believe in something again</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My whole heart will be yours forever</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is a beautiful <b><span style="font-size: large;">start </span></b>to<span style="font-size: x-large;"> <i>lifelong </i>love letter</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tell the world that we finally got it all right: I choose you. (I do)</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will become yours and you will become mine.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I choose you. (I do)</span><br />
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<span style="color: lime; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are not perfect we learn from our mistakes and as long as it takes I will prove my love to you. I am not scared of the elements--I am under prepared, but I am willing...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And <span style="color: #cc0000;">even <b>better</b>,<span style="font-size: large;"> I get to be the other half of you.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tell the world that we <i>finally </i>got it all right. I choose you.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I will become yours and you will become mine.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I choose you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Wise men say,<span style="color: #cc0000;"> "Only fools rush in."</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">But,<i> I can't help falling in love with you...</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Oh, but I can't help falling in love with you. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: large;">Like a river flows surely to the sea</span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: large;">Darling, so it goes--<b>some things are meant to be.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-size: large;">So, take my hand.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-size: large;">Take my whole life, too. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-size: large;">'Cause I can't help falling in love with you. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">Like a river flows so surely to the sea,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;">Oh, my darling, so it goes--Some things are meant to be. </span></div>
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<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">So won't you please just take my hand?<b> and take my whole life, too. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-size: large;">'Cause I can't helping falling in love with you. </span>I can't help falling in love with you. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">You told me to play my cards right, and I'm trying...Jacks are wild. </span></span></div>
<br />Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-23314337989857633472013-09-07T10:20:00.003-07:002013-09-07T10:20:34.808-07:00This is How I Feel. Excuse the language...but these are essentially my feelings. So that's fine.<br />
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<br />Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-40594857121751226452013-09-05T21:13:00.002-07:002015-11-01T10:51:32.749-08:00Pathetic ComplaintsI have some issues. And I know they're completely ridiculous. But I need them out of my system.<br />
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There's this thing called 2nd place. My brother calls it the first loser. I agree with him.<br />
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Can I just say...I'm so sick...of coming in 2nd.<br />
It's my place though, apparently. I can't seem to shake it off. But.. that's okay. Because it doesn't matter.<br />
Except, I'm a believer in accepting your feelings and then letting them go. So for five seconds, I'm going to admit once again how much it kills me to feel like I'm ALWAYS one step behind the rest; just barely off the mark...not quite there yet. It makes me sick inside to hear how close I was--but I didn't make it. Better luck next time...here, let me pat you on the back. "A"for effort. I don't want that. I want success. I want to know what real success <i>feels</i> like. And I fear I never will. I'll never make it. I want it so much I could start crying right now. But I won't. I'm stronger than that. I'm only stronger than that because I know my feelings aren't true. They're misconceptions and I am as good as I need to be. There's no real placements in the world. I'm enough. I will always be enough. I just need to stop comparing myself to other people.<br />
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<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">"God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: He is also fully aware that the people you <i>think </i>are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others--usually comparing <b>our </b><u>weaknesses </u>to <b>their </b><u>strengths</u>. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Now, for you musical education...have some Daughter. </span><br />
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<span style="color: red;"><br /></span>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-49338643595593607202013-08-29T22:42:00.000-07:002013-08-29T22:42:35.246-07:00Untitled<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I've decided a couple of things between starting this post and now: One of those things is that trying to title writing before writing it...is like trying to tell God how the story is supposed to end. When I write, it rarely ends the way I thought it would. It reminds me of a research paper I wrote last year. One of the things I realized while writing it, is that when you first start research, you can't know where you're going to end up--if you knew, why are you researching? Why are you assuming you already know enough to develop a position on the subject? So isn't that kind of what we do in life? Research it? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Recently, I've begun trying to stop deciding how things are supposed to go. Guess what, they never go as you think they are "supposed" to anyhow. So why try and tell Life how it's going to pan out? Why not let Life tell you how its going to work through things with you? I've found that, generally, when you go along with Life..Life is nicer to you. It's hard though. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm scared, too. Change is always scary. I've never been one to really oppose change, but I've discovered why it terrifies us--at least me. See, I watched a Ted Talk the other day "On Being Wrong." (Go watch it.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm terrified of being wrong. I'm scared of falling short and not being good enough for people. I fear that making mistakes will disqualify me from receiving love. The reason this ties in to change is that...change provides a new situation. Just by the virtue of being new, we have never experienced it and therefore are never fully sure of how to leap into the arms of this difference. What if we do it wrong? What if we make a mistake? Of course, <i>everyone</i> makes mistakes...but THIS mistake, made by ME, <i>that</i> is not okay. It's unacceptable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yet, as real as this fear is, it makes no logical sense. The people that are not okay with us making mistakes are basically not okay with us being humans---thus leading me to believe that THEY are not human (since they clearly never make mistakes, because if they did, they'd be more understanding) and that leaves aliens as the only alternative answer and therefore, they must be killed. I just don't have time to deal with an alien invasion. Ain't NOBODY got time for that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*If you kill anyone though...don't blame me...unless of course, you save the human race. In which case, I will gladly take all credit for influencing you. :') I'm so proud! *</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm trying to learn to be okay with my mistakes. It's taking time. I've gone so long believing that someone is tallying up my mistakes and will one day use them to show me how much I failed. What I've found though, is that <i>I</i> am the only one tallying up my mistakes and <i>I</i> am the one reminding myself how much I've failed--<b>Blinding myself</b> to the success of failure. Failure has taught me more than success ever will. It's taught me what to avoid, how to change, <i>what</i> to change, what to look for, what <b>not</b> to do. It's taught me to relate to people. It's taught me countless things that I never realized the worth of until later. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine. She told me that I should be grateful for all the failed friendships I'd had. Truly, those experiences taught me red flags to look out for--things to notice so that I don't get hurt in a way much worse. It's Life's way of teaching us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">On top of that, God doesn't tally up our mistakes. Once we take our failures to him, he helps us change, and gives us the freedom to move on if we will only take the steps to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm grateful for His mercy. I'm grateful for being wrong. I'm grateful for my failures. Without them, I wouldn't understand even half the things I've come to learn. As scary as the world is, I don't wish to live in ignorance. I want to understand things. I want to learn. So I will do what I can, I'll make mistakes, and I'll be a better person because of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Just have that. </span></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-82559996621231384002013-02-13T01:07:00.002-08:002013-02-13T01:07:51.127-08:00Sunday Talk Thoughts. <span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm going to share some thoughts with you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have to give a talk today in church and sometimes I have to just write to even know what I'm thinking.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">See, they gave me the simple topic of "The Godhead". Okay, well, what about it? My first reaction was to think about the fact that as a member of the LDS church, our view is different than many Christians around the world. We believe the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are all separate beings that are completely united in purpose. That's critical.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But what else was I supposed to say? I can bear my testimony on that truth, but that takes all of 15 seconds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yet, I know there is so much more to it, I just can't put my words on it. Why then? Why is it so critical that we know they are separate beings?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">God is all-powerful. He knows everything and can do more than we could ever imagine or really comprehend. He is our Father. So, why then does he need the help of Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost? If He can do everything, what makes him use two others? This model is seen everywhere in the church: A president, first counselor, and a second counselor. Everywhere that we have leaders, this is seen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's funny though, I think we generally go into the rest of our secular lives forgetting that. In our fast paced world of competition and trophies, we've gained this belief that we have to do everything. We have fix every problem and heal every wound and perfect every meal, visit every sick and afflicted person we know, be the best at...everything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It seems that asking for help in this world is seen as weakness and is completely unacceptable.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But even God delegates. And in reality, God is delegating to more than just Jesus Christ and the Spirit. He delegates to us every day, to live in the name of His son, and to serve Him by serving our fellow men. That doesn't mean His work won't continue if we choose not to take those tasks upon us, it simply means you are not assisting the speeding up of His work.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">What I love though, is that even God let's others help Him. Even though it <i>is</i> often perceived as weakness in this world to be brought to the realization that we aren't meant to do, and <u>can't</u> do everything on our own...this realization is a Heavenly trait. We are put on this Earth with other people for a reason.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But. Sometimes, we find ourselves physically alone. And, our trials and sufferings are not intended to be helped by those around us. That is why we are not left solely with the company of our fellow men.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We're meant to accept the atoning sacrifice and friendship of our brother, Jesus Christ.
We're meant to accept the advice, direction, and comfort of the Holy
Ghost. We're meant to turn to God, to talk to God, to let Him be and act as the Father He is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">They DO know what we don't. They see a larger picture than we can. And we need them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Appreciate the lyrics to the song "He'll Carry You" by Hilary Weeks </span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> He knows your heart</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He knows your pain</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He knows the strength it took just too simply breathe today </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He sees the tears that you cry</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He knows your soul is aching to know why </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He hears your prayers each humble word</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When you said you couldn’t face another day he understood </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He knows the path that you will find</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Though you felt alone he’s never left your side</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>He knew there’d be moments when no earthly words<br />
Could take away your sorrow <br />
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through <br />
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do <br />
He will lift your heavy load and carry you</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He’ll bring you peace and leave you hope</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And in the darkest night he’ll comfort you </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Until you know the sun will rise and each new day</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You will have the strength to live again</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And when there are moments when no earthly words </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">can take away your sorrow </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And no human eyes could see what you’re going through </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He will lift your heavy load and carry you</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #45818e;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He hears you when you’re crying in the night </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He hears you when your soul longs to find</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Till the morning will come </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And the light of the dawn reassures</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That in the moments when no earthly words </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">can take away your sorrow </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And no human eyes could see what you’re going through </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He will lift your heavy load and carry you </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">All three of them work together to carry us through life. To others. Wherever we need to go. </span></div>
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<br />Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-55004395246219402262012-12-19T11:24:00.001-08:002012-12-19T11:27:43.087-08:00Prayer of the Children<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">We had a tribute today. To all the victims in Connecticut. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Our Madrigal choir was asked to sing Prayer of the Children. I no longer have any doubt that we were inspired to sing that song our first term in choir.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">That performance today was truly one of the most powerful musical experiences I have ever had. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My heart goes out to all the <span style="font-size: x-small;">children--including the <span style="font-size: x-small;">friends of those that <span style="font-size: x-small;">died, the siblings that will never s<span style="font-size: x-small;">e<span style="font-size: x-small;">e th<span style="font-size: x-small;">eir brother or sister again. To the parents who never thought <span style="font-size: x-small;">th<span style="font-size: x-small;">is <span style="font-size: x-small;">would happen. To <span style="font-size: x-small;">presents that will remain unwrapped presents on Christmas day. To t<span style="font-size: x-small;">he teachers<span style="font-size: x-small;">. To all<span style="font-size: x-small;">. Because the effects of t<span style="font-size: x-small;">his tragedy really do reach so m<span style="font-size: x-small;">uc<span style="font-size: x-small;">h farther <span style="font-size: x-small;">t<span style="font-size: x-small;">han the obvious heartbreak. I hope you d<span style="font-size: x-small;">o begin to hear the prayer of the children. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="196" src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/380117_10151196217107358_1327681964_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(This is not my picture; it's just a picture from the tribute.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #999999;">Can you hear the prayer of the children?<br />
On bended knee in the shadow of an unknown room.</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #76a5af;">Empty eyes with no more tears to cry,</span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">turning heav'nward toward the light.</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">Crying <b>Jesus help me</b> to see the morning light one more day,<br />
<i><b>but if I should die before I wake, I pray my soul to take.</b></i></span></span><br />
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Can you feel the hearts of the children<span style="font-size: large;">?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">A</span>ching for home--for something of their very own.</i><br />
Reaching hands with <u>nothing to hold on to,</u><br />
but <span style="color: #e69138;">hope </span>for a better day, a better day.<br />
Crying <b>Jesus</b> <b>help me</b> to feel the love again in my own land,<br />
but if unknown roads lead away from home,<br />
give me loving arms, way from harm.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Can you hear the voice of the children?<br />
Softly pleading for the silence of the shattered world.</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Angry guns preach the gospel full of hate,<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>blood </b></span>of the innocent on their hands.</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #45818e;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #45818e;">Crying <b>Jesus help me</b> to feel the sun again on my face,<br />
for when darkness clears I know your near, bringing peace again.<br />
Can you hear the prayer of the children.</span></span></div>
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Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-24904341997864220972012-11-22T11:08:00.000-08:002012-12-20T08:49:11.975-08:00Sorry I'm Not Perfect. <span style="color: #666666;">I'm an awful person. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;">It's fine. I've come to accept it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666;">You know those things called "Family Vacations"? Yeah. That's an oxymoron for me. If it's family, it's not a vacation. If it's a vacation--it's not full of my family. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;">I've been the joke of the family for--ever. Yupp. What else is the last child for? Save to ridicule and mercilessly tease them? <br />So what happens when it doesn't sound like a joke anymore? What then? What if it's been going on so long that your nieces and nephews have heard and followed the lead on that? And now, not only your entire family but the children as well, just mock you. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;">"We're going to the park, are you coming?"<br />"Actually, I'm not sure."<br />"Well, you might not want to. You're probably busy texting on your phone." </span></div>
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666;">Excuse me? </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;">You're what, 11? and I'm 18. Let's talk about how you don't know anything about me or my life or my reasons. Let's talk about how I'm your aunt. Let's talk about how you should show a little bit more respect. Let's talk about how I'm sick of it. Sick of the attitude and the judgmental, condescending, comments. Jokes. I'm the awkward 18-year-old. Too young to fit in with my actual siblings. Too old to fit in with the nieces and nephews. The one who just doesn't have a place in her own family. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666;">I'm sick of feeling like my family is the place I should feel safe, and it's the place I feel most vulnerable and attacked. Most like I'm a failure. Most like I should be everything I'm not, because I'm nothing like them. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;">I don't want to feel like that. I want to feel like they love me despite my difference. Like they give a crap about my feelings.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;">But they don't. I can just suck it up. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666;">Or, maybe I'll let them judge me. I'll close myself off, and I'll avoid them for the most part and they'll say what they say. They'll get offended. They'll make snide remarks. Because that's what they do best. But they'll never ask. Never will they actually consider inquiring as to why I don't come out. Why I had or escape from them. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><i>"Behold, you have had many afflictions because of your family; </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><i>nevertheless, I will bless you and your family, yea, <u><b>your </b>little ones;</u> </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><i>and the day cometh that they will believe and know the truth</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><i> and be one with you in my church."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;">--Doctrine and Covenants 31:2</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666;">I will actually try to face the music. I just don't want to right now. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666;">Later. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">Happy Thanksgiving though. There is certainly a lot to be grateful for--in spite of the hard things in life. If you can't think of anything, just take a look outside. For me, I enjoy the sky. It's quite incredible at all moments.</span></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-41298226931200288632012-10-06T16:41:00.002-07:002012-10-06T16:41:33.865-07:00I Hope They Call Me On A Mission.I hope they call me on a mission<br />
when I have grown a foot or two. (Except...not really, because I haven't grown in years. So, that would never happen.)<br />
<br />
This morning a historical event happened. President Thomas S. Monson made a beautiful declaration.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">"I am pleased to announce that effective immediately, all worthy, able young men who have graduated from high school (or it's equivalent) regardless of where they live, will have the option of being recommended for missionary service beginning at the age of 18 instead of age 19... As we prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which young women might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve, may be recommended fro missionary service beginning at age 19 instead of age 21."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My life has literally changed. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let's be honest--both my mom and I started crying. We both knew. I can go on a mission in one year. Everything fits. "It's like everything is working out so perfectly." I have had so many questions about so many things...prior to conference I said a very short and to the point prayer...and so many of my answers came within two minutes of General Conference. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I can hardly believe it and my excitement really has no words. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yet, the devil works fast. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He sure did try to attack all of that resolve. Because "he can't [me] going on a mission now can he?"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He won't succeed though. Like I said, too many answers have come from the revelation. My dad was talking to me though. Earlier it had been my sister that had said so many things counteracting the Spirit and my determination to go on a mission if the Lord said yes. Seeing as she has left the church, or become inactive anyway, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. His point was that maybe under the certain circumstances, the Lord was trying to give me my first missionary experience. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">"I just don't see how I could ever make a difference for her."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #cc0000;">"But it doesn't matter what you see. It matters what the Lord sees."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">"I guess I've just been treated for so long like I'm the baby </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">and I don't know anything because everyone else is older and wiser."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #cc0000;">"You don't see what a great position you're in. The Lord has said,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i> "and a little child shall lead them".</i> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Lord has been on your side all along. You just need to accept it."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I certainly had never thought of it that way. I love my dad. I'm a bit scared, I'll be honest. I know it will work out, though.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I do love the enthusiasm of the youth. Facebook is covered in declarations of people who are going to go on missions now. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's perfect. Not just for me. In general. I love the inspiration of the Lord. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<img height="332" src="http://sealofmelchizedek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/San-Diego-LDS-Temple-designed-with-Seal-of-Melchizedek-Symbol-Night-1-Crop.jpg" width="400" /></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-79855510587873020882012-09-13T01:43:00.000-07:002012-09-13T01:43:04.130-07:00Best Friend SongsI've recently come to the discovery that best friend songs are much more common than you would think. They just tend to be disguised as love songs.<br />
<br />
Two of my favorite?<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I have no idea who Keri is by the way...but sure, happy birthday. </span><span style="text-align: right;"> </span></div>
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I set out on a narrow way many years ago, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
hoping I would find <i>true</i> love along the broken road. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;">But, I got lost a time or two...wiped my brow, and kept pushin' through.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;">I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Every long lost dream, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
led me to where you are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars pointing me on my way,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
into your loving arms. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #990000;">This much I <b>know </b>is true--that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I think about the years I spent just passin' through.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">But, you just smile and take my hand;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">You've been there, you understand.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: lime;">It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">This much I know is true--that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I know the lyrics are on the screen...but I don't care. I'm typing them out for emphasis. Deal with it. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
When I look into your eyes,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">it's like watching the night sky</span>...<span style="color: orange;">or a beautiful sunrise.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There's so much they hold.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
And just like them old stars,</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I see that you've come so far to be right where you are.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><span style="color: #999999;">How old is your soul?</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">I won't give up on us--even if the skies get rough.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm giving you all my love,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm still looking up.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">And when you're needing your space</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">to do some navigating</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">I'll be here patiently waiting to see what they find. </span></i></div>
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'Cause even the stars, they <span style="color: #cc0000;">burn</span>.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Some even fall to the earth.</div>
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We got a lot to learn;</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
God knows we're worth it.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
No, I won't give up.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: lime; font-size: large;">I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: lime; font-size: large;">I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: yellow; font-size: large;">Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Yeah, we got a lot at stake. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And in the end, you're still my friend,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">At least we did intend for us to work. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We didn't break, we didn't burn.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #45818e;">I had to learn <i>what I got</i> and <u>what I'm not</u> and </span><b><span style="color: #45818e;">who I am.</span> </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I won't give up on us,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God knows I'm tough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">He knows we got a lot to learn...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">God knows we're worth it. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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I realize that having these songs described as "best friend" songs truly might sound peculiar. Yeah, I am a weirdo, but it's also a best friend thing. Sometimes lyrics were molded for purposes they never imagined. This is one of those cases, because they are simply perfect. No, these songs don't necessarily fit every best friendship...and they're not supposed to. They fit mine though. I could not have asked for a better best friend. She is truly one of the most phenomenal people in the whole world and I'm so lucky to have her in my life. <i><span style="color: #741b47;">"It's incredible that someone so unforgettable could think that I am unforgettable, too." </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-67721086819603811952012-08-25T19:22:00.001-07:002012-08-25T19:22:25.166-07:00It's okay.<span style="color: #999999;">To cry.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #999999;">Sometimes that's exactly what you need </span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">in order to realize how you truly feel.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-size: large;">How much</span> you truly feel. </span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Because you can't do a whole lot until you know that.</span>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-82432884630615123452012-08-25T17:16:00.000-07:002012-08-25T17:16:01.393-07:00Don't Say Goodbye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Things are chaning, it seems strange and I need to figure this out.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You've got your life, I've got mine, but you're all I cared about.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday we were laughin'....today I'm left here asking where has all the time gone now? I'm left alone somehow.<span style="color: #990000;"> Growin' up and gettin' older,</span> I don't want to believe it's over.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Don't say goodbye...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you remember...how we swore we'd never change?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I wish we could be laughin'.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It hurts, but I'm giving you my word--</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: lime; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I hope that you're always happy like we were.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: lime; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ah. Sometimes the words we wish we could say aren't meant to be said. Sometimes you just have to let things go. Just because it's the way life is. You don't always get to say what you feel is so important to say. I guess it's not always as important as we feel.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-55600127118825255032012-08-04T09:31:00.001-07:002012-08-04T09:31:45.264-07:00Heaven Helped MeThe Lord does what He wants.<br />
<div>
It continuously amazes me. But, that is exactly what happens. This summer, I had hardly a moment to learn my choreography for the Fall Season before Guard Camp. The moments I did have may have been misspent, but to be honest, I'm not sure if I would really say that. To an outsider looking in, it might look that way, but it's different on the inside. Well, I started to get really really worried while I was at EFY, because I was scared. Honest to goodness scared. I didn't want to go home and actually face life and what it held for me. That's when the Lord led me to all kinds of scriptures that focused on having more faith. I quickly began to understand the Lord as He basically made a deal with me. He could do whatever needed to be done if I simply exercised the faith and <i>asked.</i> There was a large part that didn't feel I deserved His help and so I didn't even want to ask for it. As He comforted me with that, He seemed to tell me as well that He would be willing to help me, assist me, and make me capable of these things that needed to happen <b>if</b> I made sure people knew it was not me. It was purely the Lord's strength and wisdom. I knew right then that anything I accomplished the coming week would not be of my own capacity, but my Heavenly Father's. </div>
<div>
When I got home, I asked my dad if he would be willing to give me a Father's blessing. He gladly consented and once again affirmed my testimony of the Priesthood. It was one the most beautiful and perfect blessings I could ask for. I knew right off that they were not the words of my Dad, but my Father in Heaven. I knew it would be okay. Somehow.</div>
<div>
I showed up Monday to Guard Camp, completely unprepared. I tried to wake up early and learn my choreography--but I only got so far. Yet, somehow, the day finished, and all was just fine. And... the days continued. Of course there were rough patches; things weren't perfect, because they didn't need to be. All of a sudden, it was Friday. I was there, first group, standing ready to pass off. </div>
<div>
Resume, Hut.</div>
<div>
Opener.</div>
<div>
Production Feature.</div>
<div>
Percussion Feature.</div>
<div>
Smile.</div>
<div>
Perform.</div>
<div>
Ssst.</div>
<div>
And it was over. I had finished. Never perfect--but so much better than I would have expected. </div>
<div>
I looked back on my week at all the stress and fear that tried to fight away my faith. It got close a few times, but I kept praying. </div>
<div>
When the day was done I had made both dance lines, and had a full spot.</div>
<div>
No, <i>nothing</i> is secure...but I had made it that far. </div>
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It became so clear how unable I was to do what I had done. I looked at each day, and looked at the choreography I picked up, remembered, and performed. I don't learn fast. At all. Yet somehow, I had learned these three songs without much of a problem. Because it was no longer me. It was not my strength. Not my memory. </div>
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And <i>I stand all amazed</i>. I don't know why the Lord wanted to bless me, but He did. Maybe it's because He sees in me a willingness to change, but I need certain opportunities. Maybe it's for reasons of His own. Maybe it was just to show me what faith can do.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(Also, fun fact: I accidentally left my CD player running Sunday night and this song was playing when I woke up. Coincidence? I think not.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everybody falls sometimes,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gotta find the strength to rise from the ashes and made a new beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyone can feel the ache--</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You think it's more than you can take...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But you're stronger. Stronger than you know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't you give up now, the sun will soon be shining. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining. </span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've seen dreams that move the mountains,</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've seen miracles just happen,</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Silent </b>prayers get answered,</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Broken hearts become brand new...</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>That's</i> what faith can do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It doesn't matter what you've heard,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Impossible" is not a word; <b>it's just a reason for someone not to try.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everybody's scared to death <span style="color: #6fa8dc;">when they decide to take that step out on the water</span>, but<span style="color: #3d85c6;"> it'll be alright.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: lime; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You will find your way if you keep believing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Overcome the odds when you don't have a chance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> (that's what faith can do)</span></div>
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<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the <b>world </b>says you can't, it'll tell you that <i>you can.</i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even if you fall sometimes, you will have the strength to rise.</span></i></div>
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"With men it is impossible, but not with God; for, with God all things are possible." -Mark 10:27</div>
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"Two men can do anything as long as one of them is the Lord."</div>
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I just want to testify that that is true. I've felt it many times; this week, stronger than ever. And I am so grateful for that. </div>
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<span id="goog_1776251601"></span><span id="goog_1776251602"></span></div>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-1103946492938250022012-07-31T20:05:00.000-07:002012-07-31T20:05:30.720-07:00Two SecondsI can't lie, I'm super blessed and it's been incredible to see that for the past few weeks. For the most part, I've been super happy as well.<br />
But for two seconds, I need to vent feelings. Or just...feeling.<br />
<br />
Mostly I'm just sick of guys being my friend and caring about me because they "like" me. It's incredibly annoying. Which is an understatement if there ever was one. It hurts. Because here's what happens--they come into my life, become my friend and I begin to care about them. They care about me for the above reason, and then when they get over their little crush or whatever you'd call it, they stop. It's that fast for them. And I'm stuck missing someone I began to get attached to and genuinely care for. I care about my friends. A <b>lot</b>. Maybe I'm not always good at showing it, but it's true and it's there and it's real. So, if you're going to make me care about you, at least don't give me any delusions about if you care in return. It's fine if you don't. But, don't make me think that you do and then rip it away. I'll tolerate it. It's happened. So I deal with it. I don't know how many other people will, though.<br />
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On the other hand, thank you to those phenomenal people who are the best friends anyone could ask for. I have amazing support in my life and I don't want to let it go...<br />
I honestly am having such a hard time grasping reality. I don't want these people, people who have been nothing but good to me and helped me with--life. I don't want them to leave. And they are...and I'm scared all the talk of staying in touch will all be just talk. We have it so easy; all the technology you could ask for. Yet, it's just like the gospel...sometimes it's so easy, that it's just as easy not to do it. It's just as easy to forget. To get caught up in life. Time will tell. Life will continue. Hopefully I just don't have to let go quite yet.<br />
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<img src="http://langwitches.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/fork_road_byhubertk.jpg" />
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<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">"If you love something, let it go; if it comes back to you, it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be." </span></div>
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<br />Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-57669122210814962442012-07-14T12:54:00.000-07:002012-10-14T22:27:09.217-07:00Words You'll Never Read.<span style="background-color: black; color: #a64d79;">Sunset paints the clouds;</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">A labyrinth of branches silhouette the sky. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">The world still spins,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Each day still starts out new. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Moments won't freeze,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">They can't rewind nor skip ahead.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Simply play on--</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Don't miss you cue. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">The torturous moment we pretend not to feel</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">that tearing of friendships we refuse to let heal. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">What can I do?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">I've tried so many times to fix this...</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">I can't wait.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">There comes a time to move on. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">This one is mine. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">But for your sake, hear me out one last time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">I hope you don't hold on to sinking, angering feelings. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Don't let them hold you back. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Keep you from moving on. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">It's not worth it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">You deserve to have what's best for you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">To let a smile wrinkle your face.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">To have laughter be the cause of your fatigue. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Joyous moments to be the defining descriptions of your days. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">And the uplifting to line the pages of your memories. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Let life give to you all that it has to offer. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Take it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Accept it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Cherish the moments--all of them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Don't let them become tainted by poor recallings of the past. </span></span></div>
Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-46614349228278792982012-07-14T12:38:00.000-07:002012-07-14T12:55:10.363-07:00Early Morning<div style="text-align: center;">
<img height="240" src="http://www.francescobonomi.it/img_folder//thumbs/2original.jpg" width="320" />
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I have not been awake in the early morning because I am a wonderful person and wake up early. It's a bit more complicated than simply staying up late as well. But all you need to know is that I have been awake there, in the early hours of the morning.<br />
I wish I could explain the peace. The beauty. It's a small taste of heaven for me. As ironic as it is, with the light I need from Christ, physical darkness is one of the most wonderful places for me. Sometimes the daylight provides too much to see. Too much to distract. The difference with the light we have and the light Christ's gives, is the light of Christ is focused. It helps us understand our path, see a little bit ahead, and the logic behind the things that surround us. But the light in this world is so vast. So bright. Disguised as something that would lead us wherever we want to go, it blinds us so we stumble and fall into the snare of a Liar. It is quite quickly that we become disoriented and confused and forget our purpose.<br />
The light from Christ is by no means dim. But it lights our way from within us rather than coming <i><span style="font-size: large;">at</span> </i>us.<br />
When I sit there in the dark, preferably outside with the wind wrapping around me, it's like the light becomes clear. The light from within. And that's all I need. All I <b>want</b>. I could sit there forever because it's those moments when I feel closest. Feel most like I can listen. My phone isn't buzzing, and my computer is off. My music is silent and I am free. My mind can focus. My heart prays. And the Lord and I can just converse.<br />
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<img height="264" src="http://graffenius.com/kg/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/nighttime-in-the-quad-sm.jpg" width="400" />
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Also...have this. It's only beautiful.<br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Silently the senses abandon their defenses...</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Slowly, gently, night unfurls it's splendor.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Grasp it. Sense it</span>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tremulous and tender.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turn your face away from the <b>garish </b>light of day.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And listen to the music of the night.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Close your eyes...let your spirit start to soar.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And you'll live as you've never lived before. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Softly, deftly music shall surround you.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Hear it--feel it closing in around you</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in this darkness which you know you cannot fight. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let your soul take you where you long to be.</span><span style="color: #444444;"> </span></div>
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<br />Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-12404390148543209132012-03-17T10:36:00.000-07:002012-03-17T10:36:05.229-07:00For a Second<span style="color: #e06666;">Noooow that I have had a chance to sleep or 12 hours after what felt like some of longest and shortest weeks of...ever, I feel a little bit better. Even though it's not technically over yet and really can't relax quiiite yet, I just wanted to write about some things I enjoy. (In no particular order...as you will soon see.)</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">1. Eating Ice Cream with a fork.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">2. Spontaneous outings. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">3. Surprises--preferably positive.. But <i>real</i> surprises. Not the surprises you know are coming without knowing the details. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">4. My MOTHER. She is phenomenal. I just don't even know what I would do with out her. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">5. Music. I would die without it.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">6. Jamba Juice.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">7. Random conversations with teachers. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">8. CABARET. Holy heavens. No words...I just love.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">9. Inspiration.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">10. The scriptures.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">11. The General Authorities.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">12. My Gospel Library app :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">13. The fact that I even am capable of <i>having</i> an app--so...my phone. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">14. Comfort. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">15. Being able to laugh when situations are too serious.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">16. <b>Dancing</b>.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">17. Random texts from people you haven't talked to since...well, you can't remember. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">18. Getting 101/100 on something you thought would fail. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">19. Banana Bread. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">20. Cinnamon toast.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">21. Waffles! </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">22. Cupcakes.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">23. Dance Parties in the driveway.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">24. Remember funny stories from when you were little.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">25. Really fantastic lip gloss. Heck yes.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">26. Glitter!!!</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">27. People that can always make you laugh :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">28. IHOP at 3:00 in the morning. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">29. Sarcasm</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">30. People that understand my humor. aha :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">31. When people are dead honest with me. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">32. Cookies.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">33. Making cookies.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">34. Making people smile---nothing tops that.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">35. When random people tell me I'd make a "shrink." Thanks man, thanks. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">36. When people end up thanking you for turning them down. Alrighty then!</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">37. Word nerds. And word love. ahhhhhhh <3 yes, I did just use the heart sign. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">38. Supportive people.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">39. Waking up with a swollen eye--that doesn't hurt!!! Hollah! </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">40. Roller coasters. Heck to the freakin yes.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">41. Disneyland.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">42. Colorful lollipops.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">43. Cute engagement stories. and couples. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">44. Rings. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">42. Happy memories.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">43. When your perspective changes and bad memories become happy ones.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">44. Finding out people don't hate you. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">45. Understanding why things happen(ed). </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">46. Laughing attacks--although I do feel bad for the people I annoy by them.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">47. Making videos.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">48. Walks.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">49. The mountains.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">50. Dirt paths.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">51. Exploring.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">52. Nature.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">53. Sunsets.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">54. The beach.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">55. The ocean.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">56. Peace and serenity.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">57. Hawaii.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">58. Being up high.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">59. RAIN. But, you already knew that....</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">60. Nighttime snowfall. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">61. Standing outside during a snowstorm. (and rainstorm...but that's a whole other realm you already know about.)</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">62. Communicating without words--not ASL, but our own made up gestures. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">63. Cupcake Chic.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">64. Cocoa Bean.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">65. Will's Pit Stop hot chocolate.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">66. Being asked to dance.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">67. Being asked to dance without music--and then having someone provide music.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">68. When someone asks to "cut in" to dance with me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">69. Summer nights.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">70. Nights that feel like summer nights when they're not.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">71. The feeling outside right before a storm.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">72. City Lights.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">73. Weddings.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">74. Dressing up.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">75. Knowing what you're doing is good.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">76. Colorguard. I just...oh man. No words. Again. Just pure love.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">77. Cleaning. Yes, true facts. Just--when I'm not forced. But I do actually really love cleaning. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">78. Running. Now... I used to hate it. But now, I actually quite enjoy it. Doesn't mean I do it though. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">79. People that can sing.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">80. People that can legitimately write their own songs.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">81. The piano.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">82. The guitar. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">83. Boys that can sing... :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">84. Cute stories.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">85. Seeing people be happy.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">86. Watching people change for the better.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">87. The crazy ways the Lord works things out.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">88. Being okay with imperfection. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">89. Studying--when I want to.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">90. Going into a test and feeling like you will do so well, because you <i>know</i> the material. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">91. Understanding teachers. They're the greatest.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">92. Random compliments that just make your entire day.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">93. Meeting new people. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">94. Sleeping. Sorry, but it's true.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">95. Turning off my phone. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">96. Girls Camp.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">97. Ward Youth Conference. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">98. My birthday.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">99. Finding the perfect present for someone. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>100</b>. Knowing you're loved. Not necessarily even knowing why people are crazy enough to love you; just knowing that they do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">101. Coconut. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">102. Saddleback brownies. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">103. Remembering how you met people. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">104. Realizing how far you've come.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">105. Reuniting old friends.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">106. Broken clocks. Especially my broken pocket watch necklace. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">107. Spinning.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">108. Cartwheels in the street.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">109. Laying in the street. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">110. The slug bug game.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">111. The license plate game. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">112. Being picked up during a hug. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">113. Tunnel Singing. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">114. Bracelets that mean something.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">115. High heels. Hey--it's true. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">116. Early morning.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">117. Taco Soup.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">118. Cafe Rio.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">119. Zupas!!!</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">120. Tacos.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">121. Homemade tortillas. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">122. Homemade chili. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">123. Laughing till you cry--I guess that goes along with laughing attacks...</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">124. People who aren't afraid to be themselves. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">125. The temple.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">126. Panda Bears.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">127. Flowers.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">128. Singing--I love listening to others sing...but I love singing, too. Just thowin that out there.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">129. Homework assignments I enjoy.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">130. Helping random people you don't know. :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">131. My best friend. I don't know how she puts up with me. Poor girl. But, she does. And I love her to death. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">I should stop now. In fact, I'm impressed if you kept reading. Way to go, champ :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">awww now I wanna write more. (Okay real fast--people that act like Gollum/Yoda/Dobby, Yearbook, and, jsut..people. Also, fantastic coaches that rock. Okay done.) Okay anyway, this was actually just a lesson to me. It's amazing the things you're grateful for. Sometimes you don't realize just how much you love about life until you write it all down. When I started this list, I made it to...oh, fifteenish. But, I kept writing. And things kept coming. And they still are! I just... oh. I love it. I love people. I love life. Even if life is hard and sometimes convinces me that I hate people...I love it. I'm glad I get the privilege of being alive. </span>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-18729611652136754792012-03-11T20:32:00.001-07:002012-03-11T20:34:37.421-07:00Mysterious Ways<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A bishops interview. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A breakdown after a test.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A homework assignment.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A friend who left.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A lack of practice space.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A someone you once knew. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A win.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A morning at the temple.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A broken necessity.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A loss. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A friend.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A blog. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A calling.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A blessing. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And the list goes on. And on. And on. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Everything He does, He does for us.<br />
Some of those things are obvious life boosters. Yet some... I never would have expected to be such a critical prerequisites to blessings. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't feel quite ready to face life. No lie. But, I've made it through the past two weeks alive. What can one more be? </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/fORAPkfVV_A/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fORAPkfVV_A&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fORAPkfVV_A&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></span></div><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to change the world...instead I sleep.</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes all I really can do is breathe, let the moment pass and continue onward. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I really have no idea how I made it here to this Sunday, March 11, 2012. It does not feel possible. Yet, here I sit. Still breathing. </span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-14784918633046419412012-03-03T22:52:00.000-08:002012-03-03T22:52:49.332-08:00<span style="color: #45818e;">You don't hate me. </span><div><span style="color: #45818e;">I almost wish you did.</span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;">It'd be easier that way. </span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;">But, you don't.</span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;">You just don't care.</span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;">The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. </span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="color: #45818e;">Yet I can't bring myself to stop caring about you. I do hope you are happy. You seem to be. So, either you're a really good actor, or you aren't acting. So, that's good. </span></div>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-77904518430214955862012-02-24T11:17:00.000-08:002012-02-24T11:17:58.195-08:00"You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">"When you try your best but you don't succeed.</div><div style="text-align: right;">When you get what you want, but not what you need.</div><div style="text-align: right;">When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep.</div><div style="text-align: right;">Stuck in reverse.</div><div style="text-align: right;">And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can't replace."</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-65761298792447886312012-02-12T08:55:00.001-08:002012-02-12T08:56:38.069-08:00Men's Hearts Shall Fail Them<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Men's hearts are failing--and that includes women--because they forget their<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: #6aa84f;">identity</span></span><span style="color: #6aa84f;"> </span>and their <span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">purpose</span>."</span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"<span style="color: #ffd966;">Be patient with yourself.</span> Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next life.</span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but <span style="color: #cc0000;">demand of yourself <i>improvement.</i></span>"</span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"As you let the Lord help you through that, <b>He will make the difference."</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>--</b>Elder Russel M. Nelson</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/pages/mormon-messages?lang=eng#mens-hearts-shall-fail-them">http://www.lds.org/pages/mormon-messages?lang=eng#mens-hearts-shall-fail-them</a></span></div>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613982124615174976.post-19983766973637548162012-02-10T17:25:00.000-08:002012-02-10T17:25:39.546-08:00People.<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">I hate people.</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">I really do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">I also love them.</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">Especially the ones that seem to pop out of no where and completely turn around your awful attitude and forget all the stupid people that make you feel worth nothing. The ones that simply seem to make you smile. And laugh. In the most genuine way. </span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">Yupp. I like those people. A <b>whole</b> bunch.</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">But, most of the time, they have no idea what they've done for me. </span>Raynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16475288636751378947noreply@blogger.com0