Sometimes

Sometimes I don't know what to do with all the feelings inside of me.

I don't know how to act.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to expect.
I don't know how to cope.
I don't know who to talk to. 
I don't know how to focus.
I don't know if it's okay to cry.
Sometimes I just don't know.
I want to escape all of it. 
I want the fear to leave.
I want the temptations to disappear.
I want to feel like me....
             because I haven't.
                    not in a long time.
I want time to stop.
             yet I want it to skip a couple years.
I'm the biggest contradiction. 


Nothing and no one makes sense.


And I don't know how to get through it.
I just know that somehow I will.