Spiritual Bombardment :)

Wow. I wish I could really explain how amazing this weekend has been. I'm not going to lie, I've been really quite depressed as of late. It's been pretty obvious. Although a couple weeks ago I had this epiphany that I didn't have to be unhappy; that I was sick of being sad and I was just going to happy--because I could be. Well, ever since then, I've been improving. Agonizingly slowly--but improving all the same. This weekend though...has been amazing. 
See, I have certain things going on in life that just plain hurt. It's been tough, because it hurts and it's confusing and I know there are things I could do, but I"m not sure if they're the right things to do. I don't know which steps I should take, or if I should take any. I don't know if I should take them, but wait a little while, because it's not the right time yet. And then, if I do wait,  we're back to square one: which step do I take? Or do I take all of them or any number of different combinations of them? Everything is just so uncertain. And then, would they be the right steps to take because they'd finally make things work out? Or are they right because I need to learn a lesson in doing them? There are a million questions running through my head and so many uncertainties, that I don't really know how to handle it. 
I know everything will work out...I just don't know how. The uncertainties are what get to me. I want to understand just exactly how it's going to work. 
You know...this weekend, as stated in my title, I feel like I've just been bombarded with these fantastic spiritual experiences. 
Friday, I was just kind of going around the house, and while I was in the kitchen, I found this new CD my mom had purchased. It was titled "Break Up With the World". I was like "huh?" So I read the description on the back, and it actually looked pretty interesting. So I went to find my mom and ask if I could open it and listen to it. She goes "Ohhh!! You weren't supposed to find that! I didn't want to forget to give it to you so I put it on the counter. I figured if I put it upside down you wouldn't look at it. That's your belated Easter present." Sweet! I quickly opened it and ran into my room to go listen to it. It was by this guy named Hank Smith. I'd never heard of him, but I was excited. Man, the guy is hilarious. I was cracking up. But his message really hit me. There's a scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants 25:10. It reads, "And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world and seek for the things of a better." Previously he'd been talking about break up lines. Well, he read that and said that to him, it sounded like a break up line. He goes on to talk about how we'd be so much happier if we "broke up" with our worldly things, because it will never be enough. When he challenged us to find the one thing that's hardest to break up with, but needed the most...it hit me that there were some things in my life that really didn't need to be there. They didn't make me happy but I still held on to them. But, anyway, I just loved that someone so funny could bring so much of the Holy Ghost with him. 
Later that night, I was with a couple of my friends at our school's dance concert. They had choreographed a lot of their pieces to stories or experiences of teachers or people they knew. One particular piece almost moved me to tears. The spirit was so strong there. I got to see all these girls who--to be honest--many of them I wasn't particularly fond of, but I got to see them in this beautiful light, and I suddenly felt this love for all of them that I'd never felt before. These were not feelings I'd really expected to have that night. But, it was just the coolest experience. And, I'm glad I got to share it with my two friends:)
Well, Saturday, I got a chance to talk for a really long time with my friend about spiritual things. Maybe that seems simple, but to me, I just loved it. She got me thinking about a lot of things and even if she hadn't, talking with my close friends about the church is one of my favorite things ever, because of the feeling I get when I do it. 
Today, Sunday, it just all seemed to come together. One of my best friends was our Sunday school teacher today. She spoke of a lot of things, but as she talked, I realized something I needed to know. It was an answer to all the questions I've prayed about. Personal revelation isn't about yes or no questions. It's about understanding. God wants to give us knowledge, not answers. The knowledge is the key we need to answer all our questions. Knowledge, unlike answers, takes time. Occasionally God will give us straight out answers, but not very often, and those answers come immediately. However, the majority of the time, we learn and gain knowledge piece by piece. It builds upon itself and makes all kinds of connections and answer way more questions than the straight up answers we think we need right now. And, one day, we'll finally gain all of the knowledge God has to give us. But, for now, he's the teacher and we're the students. We're not going to learn unless we actually go to class. Even then though, it's all on his schedule. He's got the syllabus all planned out and he knows the order and timing everything needs to happen in. 
I'm so grateful that God knows me and how to get through to me. He knows how I need to learn and he's patient enough to let me learn. I'm so glad I know He loves me. He is the one person I can always and forever count on, and he will never in all of eternity let me down.